Saturday 30 March 2013

Lover At Last (Black Dagger Brotherhood #11) by J.R. Ward

 Qhuinn, son of no one, is used to being on his own. Disavowed from his bloodline, shunned by the aristocracy, he has finally found an identity as one of the most brutal fighters in the war against the Lessening Society. But his life is not complete. Even as the prospect of having a family of his own seems to be within reach, he is empty on the inside, his heart given to another....

Blay, after years of unrequited love, has moved on from his feelings for Qhuinn. And it’s about time: The male has found his perfect match in a Chosen female, and they are going to have a young—just as Qhuinn has always wanted for himself. It’s hard to see the new couple together, but building your life around a pipe dream is just a heartbreak waiting to happen. As he’s learned firsthand.

Fate seems to have taken these vampire soldiers in different directions... but as the battle over the race’s throne intensifies, and new players on the scene in Caldwell create mortal danger for the Brotherhood, Qhuinn finally learns the true definition of courage, and two hearts who are meant to be together... finally become one.

  • Genre: Paranormal romance, Urban Fantasy, Supernatural
  • Creatures: vampires, angels 
  • Age: adult, Glbt
  • Source: owned ebook 
  • Read from March 26 to 30, 2013

Final rating: ★★★★/★★★★★

“You are perfect the way you are." Blay's voice was strong. "There is nothing wrong with who and what you have always been.I'm proud of you. And I love you. Now... and always."

It breaks my heart to give this book just 4.5 stars. So why did i give it 4.5 stars? Because my brain suffered brain damage called: "I was ultimately and utterly bored like hell while reading all the parts of the book that included: Assail, Sola, Xcor and his BOB, and lessers and Trez (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ ". I thought i would enjoy reading about Xcor but...what the hell, i just didn't (don't let me get started on (SPOILER) the orgy scene with Xcor's BOB...(END OF SPOILER)

Anyway...the rest of the book... simply wonderful, heartbreaking and total emotional nuclear catastrophe.

I cried, then i was happy,then i cried again, then i felt angst, i felt horror, i was happy again, them again i cried of happiness. God what has this book done to me?

Qhuinn and Blay are the couple i always wanted to read about - no doubt that many of the girls wanted that too - and too much time has passed and so many opportunities have been ignored or destroyed, and they ended destroying each other through all of the books. First,there was a time when Qhuinn thought he was going to die or that they will send him away( a part where he became ahstrux nohtrum). He hurt Blay and ever since then their relationship had gone downhill. Now....Qhuinn wanted a child, and so did Layla - they don't want to be the ones without family, without comfort, without someone to unconditionally love them. And it's making Blay and Qhuinn's relationship even more difficult. Blay is still with Saxton and it's killing Qhuinn - only because Qhuinn is so damaged by his family that he doesn't know WHEN to act...what to say or how to love someone...After all, no one ever did love him - except for Blay, whose love he refused.

The prologue and the epilogue made me cry so much. Especially the prologue since we get to see a glimpse of his life with his family. But the epilogue was perfect and wonderful

My favorite scenes would be the plan scene, "I'm sorry" x 1000 scene and that wonderful scene near the end ♥ And not to mention all of the scenes that made me laugh and giggle like crazy :D

“I can’t move,” he mumbled.
Blay’s laugh was deep and sexy. “You look a little wrung-out.”
“Can I return the favor?”
“Can you lift your head?”
“Is it still attached to my body?”
“From what I can see, yes.



“You've always had me.. and my heart. My soul. Everything. I wish it hasn't taken this long for me to man up.”

Scarred, scared and alone, and most of all, he is afraid of his own feelings. He is going through a lot of angsty situations and moments. He doesn't know when and where to act, he doesn't know what is love - afterall no one really loved him - except for Blay whom he considered his best friend. But things go pretty much downhill when he becomes so hurt and closes his heart for everyone - only to avoid being damaged even more. He can't take everything thrown at him, and he would probably kill himself hadn't Blay and Layla and their young being around. They are the only anchor he has and without them he would be...nothing and no one.... Or so he thinks. He is afraid of what other people will think about him - after all, his own family shut their doors on him, ignored him, pretended he wasn't there, humiliated him and destroyed his soul, his confidence...his thinking...his everything. But Blay got him through and Qhuinn is scared of telling that he loves him.

Spoilers - Major ones:

It was so devastating watching Qhuinn loose himself when he thought Layla was going to miscarry their young... Not to mention all those angsty scenes with him and Blay, the scene with the plane and Qhuinn's breakdown in front of Zsadist. And the induction in the brotherhood - i cried so much... Especially when he thought brothers are going to kick him out of the house and when he cried during he ceremony ( END OF SPOILER)


“Shit. With Qhuinn looking at him like that, he couldn’t remember his own name. Blaysox? Blacklock? Blabberfox? Who the fuck knew…”

I loved Blay, i always did. He is amazing, he is great and he is very much loveable character. But he is stubborn as much as Qhuinn is. He is in love with Saxton though, but his mind always goes back to Qhuinn and he can't get rid of him. He didn't know all about Qhuinn but he understood Qhuinn better that Qhuinn ever did. He knows him, and he knows that something is wrong with him. He is simply wonderful soul, gentle, kind and caring, a worthy male and lover and companion. He helped Qhuinn so many times, he saved him so many times, he is and always will be Qhuinn's anchor.


“My die is cast, and I am prepared to live with the consequences, be as they may. That is all.”

Is such a gentle, caring soul - she is a Chosen, and the one who carries Qhuinn's child. She wanted a child as much as he did, and the opportunity came and she turned out to be pregnant. But her mind drifts sometimes to Xcor...wondering how life would be with him. She doesn't know everything about this world but she learns and absorbs it. I wish for her to get a proper closure, with someone to love her for what she is - for being one of them.

Spoilers - Major ones:

(SPOILER)When i thought she was going to miscarry i cried so much. But i was so happy because Payne fixed it and she is just amazing! Qhuinn and Layla will forever be grateful to her ( END OF SPOILER)


So...who to start with? I know...LET'S START WITH BROTHERS ♥....Ah Zsadist, he is so amazing and so wonderful and the plane scene was amazing. And Bella is still amazing as well. Wrath and Beth and great and i wish for them to start a family too - they deserve it and so many books have gone by and i still expect that Beth will someday be pregnant... V, Phury and all of the other brothers kick asses like they always do :D.

Xcor's band of did i think all of those parts were absolutely pointless where they appeared? I like Throe though ♥...well, and Xcor too, but all of the parts where they appeared were just meant to be there...and nothing more.

Assail and Sola...It took me a long time to remember who Assail is, and i must say that i felt totally bored every single time those two appeared. especially Sola. Kill me if they don't get a book and i don't even know why. There was a little cliffy concerning Sola which will be continued in the next book probably.

Trez and iAm....what to say? What are they? What are the Shadows? I don't remember the answers on those questions because i snoozed everytime they freaking appeared. Anyway, all i concluded is that they are different society than Vamps and Angels...

Omega and his minions: be amusing someday, please????

And the guest of the year: (MAJOR SPOILER) Luchas, brother of Qhuinn, the one who with his honor guard almost killed Qhuinn. And he is mysteriously brought back to life....Congratz Omega. And all of the scenes with Qhuinn and Luchas were devastating


Wonderful addition to BDB series, although as not as interesting as i thought it would be, but beautiful nonetheless. I loved every part with QHUAY, every part with brothers, and this book made me laugh and cry so many times! Love it~ 


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